It’s mid-morning. Your preschooler melts down because it’s time to turn off the TV. Move on to the afternoon, and they refuse to share a toy with their sibling. Now it’s bedtime, and another battle of tears and stall tactics.
While these everyday struggles feel exhausting, they’re also powerful opportunities for social-emotional learning (SEL). Every challenge is also a chance to practice SEL skills like naming their feelings, calming their body, and trying again. These simple actions help them become more self-aware, empathetic, and responsible.
Let’s unpack what SEL looks like for preschoolers, why it matters, and how to nurture it every day.
Social-emotional learning (SEL) for preschoolers is about helping young kids understand how their feelings and emotions connect to their actions, and how those actions affect others. When they start to see this link, they find it easier to make kind, thoughtful choices in a confident and empathetic way.
And it starts in the everyday moments. Whether it’s circle time, story time, or sharing a snack, preschoolers have the chance to practice five key areas of SEL:
The key to preschool SEL lies in weaving it through everyday stories, games, and moments of connection. That way, no matter the situation, your child knows how to apply these social and emotional skills to act in calm, conscious ways.
When you teach SEL to preschoolers, you lay the groundwork for how kids deal with frustration, approach challenges, and connect with others.
Here’s what the research says about why SEL is such a big deal.
From a tantrum about a broken banana to a meltdown about a grazed knee, preschoolers experience big feelings all day, every day.
According to recent research in the Psychological Bulletin, when kids practice SEL in the right way, they learn how to better cope with their feelings, so they feel less stressed.
Research published in BMC Psychology found that when we help kids rethink their responses to strong emotions, we restructure their cognitive thinking. So when a big feeling comes along, it feels less overwhelming — which means fewer emotional outbursts.
SEL gives kids the opportunity to practice kindness and compassion. By teaching children to understand other people’s feelings, it becomes easier for them to see how their actions impact others. And when you teach tangible ways of being empathetic and compassionate, you show them how to build lasting friendships.
And the science proves it. A recent paper in the Child Development journal shows that SEL programs have a positive impact on building peer relationships.
Little kids don’t come equipped with self-awareness. They have to learn it. That’s why they find it hard to focus and control their behaviors.
SEL teaches kids to think critically and approach problems with curiosity and perseverance. So when something tough comes along, they know how to focus on the task and stick with it until they find a creative solution.
These skills directly translate into school achievement. When kids learn persistence, critical thinking, and self-awareness, the same Child Development study mentioned earlier shows that they perform better in school.
Research published by AERA Open and the Learning Policy Institute shows that SEL supports lifelong success.
Why? Because kids with a good grounding in SEL display fewer behavioral problems, stronger mental health, and greater emotional well-being. And because of this strong foundation of conscious social and emotional behaviors, kids versed in SEL experience good career progress later in life.
Preschool offers the ideal time and place to nurture SEL through play and daily routines. From circle time to feelings charts, every day presents opportunities to strengthen emotional regulation, empathy, and social skills.
Here are simple SEL strategies that build each key social-emotional skill. Use them for your preschooler. These are also great social-emotional learning activities for toddlers.
Self-awareness helps children understand their own feelings and how those feelings shape their actions.
These play-based activities make emotions easier to notice and express:
Self-management teaches preschoolers to stay calm, wait, and overcome intense emotions.
Here are some gentle, sensory-based activities that teach self-management skills:
Children learn self-awareness by understanding empathy and respect for others’ points of view.
Encourage that understanding with these activities:
Relationship skills help children share, communicate, and resolve conflicts kindly and quickly.
Try these SEL activities to encourage collaboration:
Decision-making games teach children the skills to choose fairly and consider consequences.
Here are a few ways to teach kids to make good decisions:
If you’re looking for structured SEL support, here are a few of the top programs that combine storytelling, play, and reflection.
Second Step Early Learning is a popular SEL curriculum for preschoolers. It focuses on helping kids recognize emotions, build empathy, make friends, and solve everyday problems.
The program includes tools to bring emotional scenarios to life, engaging preschoolers in visual and auditory ways.
These include:
Lessons follow a consistent rhythm, so kids grasp the concepts through a repetitive process. They listen, watch, discuss, and then practice. That way, even the youngest learners can follow along.
The PATHS Preschool curriculum is about strengthening emotional literacy, self-control, and social problem-solving. It comes with a sequence of lessons that encourage young kids to label feelings, calm themselves, and think before acting.
As a program, it stands out for its focus on emotion vocabulary as it teaches kids the exact language they need to describe and manage feelings. Each lesson weaves together puppet stories, group discussions, and cooperative activities so kids can put their skills into action in different scenarios.
This SEL curriculum also has a direct focus on addressing aggressive or impulsive behavior, making it a great choice for preschoolers who find it hard to control their feelings.
This free program was created by Vanderbilt University and offers a framework rather than a single curriculum.
It supports social-emotional growth through a tiered system:
It’s not just a model. It also gives you practical tools such as visual routines, emotion charts, and transition strategies that fit seamlessly into everyday life.
Created by researchers at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, this free, evidence-based curriculum homes in on mindfulness, compassion, and gratitude.
Its downloadable lessons combine guided breathing, mindful stories, and cooperative games that teach emotional balance.
It’s different from lots of traditional SEL programs in that it emphasizes inner awareness as the foundation for empathy. Preschoolers focus on taking a pause, noticing emotions, and responding kindly to others.
The Dinosaur Child Program from The Incredible Years uses playful, interactive learning to strengthen social skills, emotional regulation, and problem-solving.
Children learn alongside puppet characters Wally and Molly, who model real-life challenges. For example, they might talk about sharing, apologizing, or staying calm when angry. Each session brings together storytelling, songs, and group discussions to keep learning active and fun.
Backed by a strong evidence base, the Dinosaur Child Program is especially effective for children with challenging behaviors, as it concentrates on developing confidence and empathy.
Your child’s home is the first and most important SEL classroom. It’s where they learn how to recognize and manage emotions and challenges, based on how others around them handle theirs.
But that doesn’t mean you need to dive into formal SEL programs for preschoolers. You can nurture these skills naturally using play, routines, and everyday relationships as teaching moments.
Here are some tips to help you get started.
Everyday routines are powerful SEL teaching tools where responsibility, decision-making, and relationship-building all come together.
Turn these everyday activities into opportunities for social-emotional learning:
When you build SEL into predictable routines, you teach your child to practice these emotional skills during important tasks and key transitions. This helps them to bring those skills into everything they do, whether it’s work, play, or wind-down time.
Kids do what they see. And while parenting is challenging and tiring, these tough moments give you the perfect opportunity to model calm language and problem-solving out loud. Try phrases like “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath,” or simple conflict scripts such as “I don’t enjoy that, please stop,” to show respectful communication.
Remember, it’s important to be consistent. When you’re calm and steady, no matter the challenge, your child mirrors you, learning to manage their own emotions with the same confidence.
Make emotional expression part of your home by loving loudly and often. When you express compassion and understanding and give your children easy ways to do the same, you teach them that you support their emotional journey.
But what does this look like?
Reflection time gives you a moment to connect with your child and understand their feelings and struggles. It also gives them a moment to practice voicing those emotions out loud.
Try reflecting at the end of the day by talking about:
These reflective moments reinforce the SEL lessons your kiddo is learning, helping them to consciously carry those behaviors into the next day.
Social-emotional learning gives preschoolers the foundation to understand themselves and build positive relationships with others, all while learning to handle challenges.
But this is just the beginning. As your child grows, they need a school environment that nurtures those social and emotional skills to keep them building confidence and resilience in every new experience.
That’s exactly what we do at bina.
In our online school, social and emotional learning is woven into every subject, project, and friendship. With small, globally-diverse classes and two dedicated educators per group, we give every child the space and support to grow into thoughtful, confident learners who bring curiosity, empathy, and purpose into everything they do.
